Meeting and Greeting

Refer to an individual by their name (which comes first) and an honorific. Do not try to add “san” to someone’s name. While the suffix is common in Japanese organizations, it should be used only once you know someone well, advises Andrew Thorson, an attorney/partner at Warner Norcross & Judd in Southfield, Michigan, and a former resident of Kyoto, Japan.

Giving a Gift

Don’t expect your gift to be opened in front of you; your host will set it aside to be opened later. Similarly, if you receive a gift, wait and open it later in private.

Dining

When you want to give someone something—even if it’s food, and the person is hungry—you’ll have to ask three times. Japanese and other Asians will decline at first, then again when you ask a second time. Only on the third inquiry will they agree to receive your offering. “It’s an issue of humility,” says Foster.


Eat what’s put on your plate. “On a trip to Osaka, we were served raw chicken livers and chicken hearts,” recalls attorney Thorson. “I was surprised that my American colleague cleaned his plate with a smile. Later, I told him that I did not think he would like raw chicken, and he said he didn’t like it—he thought it was terrible. ‘Then why did you eat it?’ I asked. ‘Because I assumed it was more terrible not to eat it.’ He's a smart man.”

Other Etiquette

Saying “no” directly is not done, and the Japanese will not say it either. If you find yourself in disagreement with a Japanese person, expect to hear and say something like, “It is difficult” or “We will consider it.”

In conversation, you may find your Japanese colleagues nodding and saying “yes.” This doesn’t always signal agreement, warns Sue Shinomiya, author of Business Passport to Japan. “It simply demonstrates that they are listening attentively.”

Japanese value personal space. After greeting someone, says Lee of EthnoConnect, you should step back.