Have you ever been on a flight with an out-of-control kid running up and down the aisle of the plane screaming his head off?

Have you ever been stuck in line at a rental car counter behind a slow-moving customer who insists on getting detailed driving directions?

Have you ever stood at a hotel registration desk waiting for a clerk who can’t seem to stop kibitzing with a colleague?

Now, wouldn’t it be cool if you had some secret power to quiet a loud talker, silence an earsplitting kid, get lollygagging travelers to speed up and get service when you need it?

Well, I have good news for you. You do have that secret power! You can control other people’s behavior without so much as lifting a finger.

Hold on. I’m not going to try to sell you a hypnosis training video, an electronic mental intrusion gadget or an aerosol pheromone. Instead, I’m going to offer you a technique that is based on scientific studies, requires almost no training, is simple to apply, can be used in a wide variety of situations, is perfectly legal in all 50 states and most countries, and costs nothing.

And what is this secret power? Ready? It is the ability you have to stare at people.

“Wait a minute, Riley!” you may be saying to yourself. “You give this big ballyhoo about secret powers and all you come up with is just staring at people?”

Yep, that’s it. But to say “just staring” doesn’t do justice to this powerful agent of behavioral change. Staring often produces results that more animated behaviors cannot.

The effectiveness of staring is rooted in the anxiety that it creates in the subject of the stare—much like a prolonged silence in a conversation creates an uneasiness that will cause a person to start talking just to break the quiet. In general, people feel uncomfortable when they are the object of attention.

Perhaps they feel they are being scrutinized, which, of course, they are. In an effort to relieve the anxiety caused by staring, a person is likely to change what he is doing. He changes his behavior, and the stare ceases; his anxiety is relieved, and you’ve accomplished your task.

Staring pointers. Dane Archer, a professor at the University of California at Santa Cruz, warns that staring is culturally defined. In Russia, for instance, it can signal friendship or attraction, while in Japan, staring is considered rude. “The basic point,” says Archer, “is that staring carries different meanings in different cultures, and the difference between ‘good’ or ‘bad’ staring is extremely subtle—far too subtle, in fact, for people from another country to use safely.” So long as you feel you are on safe cultural footing, keep these pointers in mind when exercising your staring powers.

Maintain focus.Chances are that the subject of your stare will avert his eyes as soon as his make contact with yours. You have to stay on target, because as he looks back again and again, he must know that you aren’t just giving him a casual glance. If you are looking elsewhere during his return checks, your secret power will vanish.

Remain expressionless. Don’t frown, scowl or contort your face. Staring is powerful enough. Let your eyes do the work. If you overdo it by adding a squint, smirk or sneer, you may be perceived as menacing rather than observant, and you could find yourself in the company of security personnel.

Don’t overplay. Once you’ve seen a change one way or the other in the subject’s unpleasant behavior, look away. If the behavior has been extinguished, mission accomplished. On the other hand, if the offensive behavior worsens, staring will likely be perceived as a threat, and its continuance will not work in your favor.